This is something that I’d written out perfectly in my mind a long time ago, but unfortunately my memory sucks and therefore I forgot it. *headdesk* So this is my (lame) attempt to get it how it was in my head, but it’s just not the same. Enjoy anyway!
I was huffing when I finally reached the bridge. My steps slowed when I reached the top, and I came to a complete stop next to the broken bench. I dropped my backpack the ground, covering the large oil stain on the sidewalk. Left foot parallel to the H.Y. in the heart carved on the wall, right foot aligning with the M.F. The plus sign between the initials rubbed against my belly button as I leaned over the short concrete wall.
Water rushed past, under the bridge and towards… wherever it went. Dark and murky, it crashed against the beams that supported the bridge and slammed into the sides of the riverbed. Noisy, wild, free. I loved it.
A leaf blew into the river, and it was immediately enveloped by the dark liquid, dragged away by the current. Consumed, so easily. The broken bench creaked as I climbed onto it, but within moments I was on the wall. I sat, watching my feet dangle carelessly over the water.
It would be so easy. Just let go, and it would all be over. Jump, and I would never have to worry about anything ever again. If I was lucky, I’d be with Mom, and the part of Dad she had taken with her. No more boyfriends who dumped you if you shed a tear or two, no more friends who don’t act like friends, no more nothing. It would be over, all over.
So easy, so easy. Shakily, I got on my feet. Just a small step, and I’d be free, free, free. The water splashed and turned the word over and over in my head. Free, free, free. I watched another leaf disappear into the river, lost forever. I gulped and tightened my hold on the beam that anchored me to the bridge, to life. Forever was an awfully long time. Was I willing to just disappear, forever?
I shook my head violently from side to side to clear it, my hair getting even messier than usual. A cool breeze blew against my face, bringing me out of my melancholic daze. No, I wouldn’t be free today. At least not this way.
A jolt rushed up my spine as I thumped back onto the wall, sitting again. The water seemed to have slowed, and now it rumbled gently by, a swift but steady flow beneath my sneakers. I kicked my heels against the hard concrete of the wall, sculpted and painted by the weather. The breeze danced around me, and I breathed it in. Its freshness sent hope tumbling through my body, and I smiled my first real smile of the day.